Saturday, 9 December 2017

Of Strong Independent Women

There's one thing you should know about me (actually 3 things)! I categorise the people I go out with into 3 Groups-

  • Group 1- People I'm not very comfortable around- I drink wine- there's something about sipping it slowly, looking like the classy girl I am- that has made people fall in love with me in the past. (This is when I don't speak anything non-sensical)
  • Group 2- These are the people I'm comfortable around, so LIITs are what I order. If they don't serve it with straws, I get disappointed because then I gotta put in some effort into lifting the glass. (This is where I can decipher the shit I'm saying, but I say it nonetheless)
  • Group 3- The set of people who I love and adore and have an unbreakable bond with- I mix everything without a care. I also try other's drinks, or sometimes finish them up too! (Who cares what I'm saying or doing?)

Now, neither am I an alcoholic, nor is my tolerance towards alcohol very high. However, when it was date night with Mr. E, I decided to be courageous enough to order LIITs and officially put him in Group 2! What was next? 2 LIITs down, and endless hours of useless conversations and overeating which he decided to be party to- I decided I'm the strong independent woman who needs no man to hold her hand and help her down the dark alley of stairs. Result? I fell and hurt my ass!

Luckily for me, he decided to help me out and firmly held my hand while my drunk-hurt ass decided to sashay down the staircase. Now before you go aww, this is not about how nice Mr. E was that night. This is not even about how the drunk me hurt my ass because of a whim. And it's definitely not about what happened later in the story. This is about what being a "strong independent woman who needs no man" truly means.

Being strong- I associate it with being emotionally stable, knowing how to handle your emotions and yourself, and not just in front of people, but in front of the mirror itself. It doesn't have much to do with your physical strength, yet has a lot to do with being self aware and knowing your shortcomings and constantly working on the same. It's about being secure in your own skin. It's about knowing that you can survive anything and everything. Am I strong woman? Yes, very much- yet I'm still working on my shortcomings- trying to keep anxiety, paranoia and skepticism at bay- knowing that no matter what the storm brings if it comes, I can, and I will survive it.

Being Independent- Well, what is being independent if not self-sufficient? It has everything to do with knowing that you don't need anyone at all- man or woman- friends or enemies- to get by in life; realising that you are the creator of your own destiny. The thing about being independent is that it's like an addiction- enjoying your own company, having a life of your own, and living with the freedom of doing what you like, as you like, when you like! Am I independent? Hell yeah!

Not needing a man?- Always remember, you never need a man. You always want him. If you need him- you're not a strong independent woman. And this was my biggest realisation that night- I wanted him. 

Being a strong independent woman doesn't mean you have to be 'Ms Know It All' or 'Ms On my Own' and be a feminist of sorts. It can mean that you're an emotionally strong woman who is happy and content in her life but loves her man and his opinions and support nonetheless, even though she can survive without him. For instance, every time I need an opinion on a dress, I hit up Mr. E- but that's because I value his opinion, not because I trust mine any less. And trust me when I say this, there's immense strength and confidence in being a strong independent woman, who wants a man, yet doesn't need him as a matter of survival.

But every now and then, although, all us strong independent women, want to be reminded of the love and care and attention that we deserve; not because we need it but because it's a nice feeling to be loved, cared for, and appreciated. Sometimes, we would like to be kissed on the forehead (because let's face it, those are the best), or we'd like our men to hold our hand while crossing the street, or just tell us how beautiful our strength looks on us. So here's putting out feelers for Mr. E- and hoping for all the women out there, to be strong and independent- yet never hurting their ass in the process. And having said that, love your man, take the hand that he's giving you to hold- but love yourself more, and remember that when someone is being nice to you, it's not because they doubt your strength or independence.

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