Thursday 13 September 2018

Why not me?

As a woman, you tend to get very accustomed to getting showered with compliments. It's always about how you look, how you carry yourself, how well you dress or how your hair looks fabulous. But no one ever really gives more genuine, or deeper compliments that touch the heart. They never tell you how strength translates to happiness and it reflects in your smile. They also never compliment you to tell you how gracefully you're ageing or how your warmth and kindness touches hearts and lives, whereas they should. But lucky for me, I'm surrounded by people who compliment me all the time- on all aspects. But like for everyone else, there are a very few compliments that have stuck with me- 3, to be precise.

The first one, was by my all time BFF Aryan. He once observed me in my natural habitat (when no one was around)- and he kept on looking at me for a while- and then said- "For anyone who knows you, the hardest thing to do for them in this world, is to not fall in love with you." That did make me blush- for real.



The second one, was slightly superficial, but I guess the women will relate to me on this one. My brother, once, when I had no makeup on (just a bit of concealer- gotta hide 'em dark circles), walked towards me, observed my face for a bit and said- "What have you done to your eyebrows? They look so made up, so perfect, like you've stuck them on." Every woman will understand how that's the best compliment ever.



The third one, was when a colleague who's also a really good friend, asked me what school I went to. On inquiring why he wanted to know, he said he'd be sending his children to the very same school because he'd want them to be just like me. Needless to say, I was flattered. But he's not the only one, who's expressed a desire to have a clone of me.

A few weeks back, a friend got married, and said his wife is amazing 'just like me'. Made me wonder, why everyone says I'm easy to fall for, yet no one falls for me; why everyone wants someone like me, but just not me. I couldn't help but think- "Why not me?" In the interest of self awareness, I decided to do a little self introspection and realised it's probably because of a lot of reasons.



Firstly, let's face it, I'm hard to please and no man wants to put in that amount of effort. My idea of a perfect romance would definitely involve receiving flowers at work, being taken on surprise dates and short getaways, being over pampered with cute little presents and of course being flirted with generously- and to be honest, no man, wants to invest the time, effort and energy to chase a woman that's not easily impressed without knowing if she'll be worth it.



Secondly, I have my flaws. When men say they want someone like me, they are usually pointing out to my positives. They mean they want a smart woman, that dresses well, knows what she speaks, can cook them a meal, earn for herself and travel the world with them. They probably don't mean they want someone who can get overprotective, can over pamper them in the vaguest ways possible, has trust issues or can act like a stuck up superficial bitch in social situations.

Lastly, most of the men, at least the ones that I've had the pleasure to be recently acquainted with, find me intimidating. Maybe that's just how my vibe is.



So well, while everyone wants someone like me, the truth of the matter is that they don't. They like the idea of me. They like the fact that I'm someone they could love, but don't want to. But I guess I'm gonna stop wondering about it- and put a rest to all these ideas in my head- for I'm certain, the right man will not be intimidated, and would want to put in the time and effort because he'd realise I'm worth it. And my flaws? Well, aren't they a part of the deal? They make me who I am! And I did read somewhere- "Your flaws are perfect to the heart that loves you". So here's hoping, someday, someone would want me, and not just someone like me. And here's wishing the same for you!


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