Tuesday, 8 August 2017

First Date Shenanigans

Story Credits- My dear friend Natashaa


Going through a magazine's Facebook page, I stumbled upon an article titled "6 tell tale first date signs that he likes you". Having recently been on a couple of 'first dates'; I decided to explore what the piece of writing said. As I clicked on the article, in the 10 seconds that it took to load- my mind raced and I thought of the guys my first dates have been with. I also thought about my self- judgments about them and if at the end of the date I did think they were interested or not.



In all honesty, once I was done with reading the article, I was more confused than before. Let's say I went out on a 'first date' with 4 different guys in the past year (Bad Stats- I know!). Guy A was nice to me, tall, and was pally with my friends too when we accidentally bumped into them. Guy B was again, nice to me, tall, smelled great and knew how to shake a leg. Guy C was very sweet, had the cutest smile, seemed extremely genuine, aside of being nice to me. Guy D was extremely smart and sensible, and his voice would melt a woman's heart in  seconds. Mr. A, however, was arrogant, pompous and rude. Mr. B? self centered. Mr. C had the most distracting eyes- the kind that make you forget what you wanted to say. Mr. D was boring.



While all guys had their pros and cons, I felt a strong need to understand and decipher, at least for the sake of my fellow girlfriends out there trying to decode their first dates what sort of signs to look for to understand if the guy is interested in you or not. Here's what is my combined learning from the article, Mr. A, B, C and D as well as my own dating experience.

1. No two guys are the same. I thought if my date liked me they'll probably kiss me at the end of the date. Truth is, Mr. D was in love with me already when we first met. But did he try to kiss me? No. How sometimes, we as girls, feel scared or skeptical of letting off our feelings too soon; some men too, if they genuinely like you, won't want to make you feel like they're only in for the physical aspect of it. So no matter how much he wants to kiss you, sometimes he would not do it- maybe he won't get the perfect moment, or maybe he'd want to wait and take it slow so you trust his intentions.



2. Men can be sweet in their own way. Mr. B got me chocolates, Mr. D sang me the sweetest song. But who was the one that made me feel really special? Mr. C, since I knew he was really busy and he went out of his way to make time for me. Don't get me wrong here. I know making time for your date is a pre requisite and not really an additional thing. But, efforts count, efforts always count. When someone takes initiatives and texts first, or calls you out of the blue- it's always appreciated and rarely ever goes unnoticed. 



3.The rush factor. In my experience, good things take time. Patience indeed is a virtue and you absolutely can't be rushing something that you want, to last forever. If your date has discussed how he can't wait to take off your dress- please run away. In all likelihood, he's either only interested in sleeping with you or is extremely desperate to find someone who gives him even a tad bit importance. Lucky for me, I caught Mr. A's intentions early on.



4. The time factor. Did he have to cut the date short due to an emergency phone call? Most likely, he's not into you. Unless there's a real emergency, it's just a lame excuse when he says his room-mate is depressed or his mom is awake waiting for him. Don't fall for that. Be smarter than that. However, if he says he'll only be able to spare an hour even before you meet, that means he's most likely planning out an exit strategy- meaning I'll leave in an hour if I don't like you. So if he sticks around for longer, you know where you stand.



5. Follow up. It's been more than two weeks and he still hasn't called or texted? Of course he could be busy, buried under a rock or even dead. But what will it take for you to move on? Remember, if a guy is into you, you will see some efforts or initiatives from his end. If he doesn't try to reach out to you, in all likelihood, he doesn't want to. Please gather whatever is left of your self respect and move on.



So all in all, the bottom line is that men will be men. There would be no definite signs to be honest; because most of the times, they themselves are confused about what they want.I still haven't been able to decode all the 4 guys i mentioned above. However, the above factors may be considered to be as pointers to follow on your next 'first date'! My next 'first date'? I have decided to take a break from 'first dates'; because I'm still distracted by those eyes I mentioned about. Maybe one day, I'll find myself, lost in them. So long. Happy Dating :)


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