Friday, 10 March 2017

Mr. Right Vs Mr. Right Now

I’ve only ever been able to sustain one long distance relationship in my life; and that’s been with my BFF Piu. We can talk for hours and not feel any discomfort whatsoever and the fact that we haven’t seen each other in years, doesn’t change things one bit. In one of our recent late night conversations, we started thinking about this difficult choice we girls need to make; to choose between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now.

Piu has been really lucky, to have found Mr. Right at the right time. Me, on the contrary, not so much. Always on the lookout for Mr. Right, I’ve successfully managed to turn down all the Mr. Right Nows that I have encountered over the years. I didn’t even give so much as a thought to the Mr. Right Nows- what if one of these men that I’ve turned down, was Mr. Right? You never know. I can’t say for sure.

But what I can say is- I’ve found someone recently who checks all the boxes; and surprisingly he’s much more than those ticks on my checklist. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man and I could not be happier to have found someone like him. But even though he does seem like he is Mr. Right, probably the timing isn’t right, or he’s just not that into me- what do I know?

Screenshots started piling in our chat box, as me and Piu tried to decode my Mr. Right’s texts. “Why are women considered complex?” I thought to myself. While Mr. Right certainly does seem interested; he’s hot and he’s cold and he disappears for days at a stretch and forgets I exist. That doesn’t go down well with my attention seeking self (guilty as charged!). Piu’s suggestion was I tell him I like him, and ask him if he wants anything to do with me, else I should move on. But was it the right thing to do? Giving him an ultimatum of sorts? Would it be wise to show desperation? Having said that, I have already mentioned to him a couple of times how much I like him; but does that mean he absolutely has to like me too? Can’t I deal with rejection or just make peace with the fact that I’m not right for my Mr. Right? Clouded with thoughts and feelings, Piu and me decided to not pursue him anymore. Because for him to be Mr. Right, he has to stick around and feel the same way I feel; and feelings can’t be forced with an ultimatum.

But the problem is, that the moment you stop pursuing Mr. Right, you realise that Mr. Right Nows have piled up. So what do you do? Piu and me started discussing the possibility of a Mr. Right Now being Mr. Right. This one guy in particular, has been chasing me for days, and he has the cutest smile a man can have (very SRKish) ! What’s more? He treats me like I mean the world to him and has the nicest things to say. I could actually see him being Mr. Right- one day, some day!

So what would you do if you were me? Would you pine over Mr. Right and pray he realises what he’s missing out on, or would you go about your life with the more ‘available’ Mr. Right Now? Guess you could do both or neither at all. We as women, are conditioned to choose one! We overthink situations and force ourselves to decide even when not making a choice is also a choice we can make.

So I’m just going to take away the focus from my Mr. Right as well as Mr. Right Now and focus on myself for a bit. Who knows when Mr. Right decides to knock my door? Who are you focusing on- Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now? And don’t you forget- sometimes Mr. Right Now, may also be your Mr. Right. As Piu says, it’s all about timing. Gotta love the girl for her words of wisdom!

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