Romance, Love, Dating, Sex- the whole shebang!

Very recently, with some help from a mystery man (let's call him Mr. E), I discovered my love for pairing wine with ice cream and there has been no looking back ever since. This weekend, weight gain concerns aside, I decided to spend the night with Zareen indulging in girl talk and my new found love for the wine-ice cream combo! Like any other girls night, it was a typical session of boy bashing, fuckboy tales, talks about cute guys and the men who have our hearts. Of course, diets, yoga, dance classes, recipes, travel plans, other girls, were discussed too; but the focus remained on men and their moves.

Talking of Zareen- she had gotten casually involved with this guy called Vicky recently, whom she had met through a popular dating app only a month or two back. It was going nice for them- No strings, low expectations, and lots of fun! In all honesty, freshly having dealt with a heartbreak, that's what Zareen wanted anyway. However, it's never so simple, is it? 

As days passed, Vicky began to involve Zareen in parts of his life. He made her meet his friends. He started sending her mushy texts. And basically, in more than a few words, told her about how this was more than just sex. Now I get it- he was probably just confused; or perhaps he wasn't giving much thought to what he was saying because he wanted things to continue the way they were going. Zareen on the other hand, picked up all his very obvious signs, and started to think if he thought more of her. Already nursing a broken heart, this girl started to sew pieces together, just because she thought Vicky genuinely liked her and wanted to be with her. What did Vicky do? Fed her assumptions and and expectations just so that the sex doesn't stop!

I looked around and understood, how common this was. What do men do to continue sleeping with women they don't probably even like? They feed lies to them- lies women want to hear.

"You're the one I love"
"I see a future with you"
"It isn't just about the sex"
"You're important to me"
"I can wait for you all my life"
"You're the one I want to get married to"

Do I even need to mention how wrong that is?

So here's my advice to all the MEN out there-

1. Don't lead someone on. Make your expectations clear in the very beginning. If sex is all you want, be upfront. If the woman wants the same, win-win. If not, part ways.

2. Don't lie or sugarcoat your words. Never confuse 'I want to fuck you' with 'I like/love you'. If getting into her pants is what you're looking forward to, don't say ' I can't wait to make love to you'. No matter how similar that stuff sounds in your brain, it's vastly different. There's a difference in being polite, and in making someone believe like you want to be with them- forever.

3. Be a man, leave her be. If you're not interested in someone, tell them clearly. Don't say 'let's see where this goes'! Tell them it's going no where.

4. Don't introduce her to your friends, family, colleagues etc, or involve her in any decision making about your life, if you only think of her as a 'booty call'. That qualifies as misleading.

5. Lastly, do not, i repeat, absolutely do not make a girl fall for you, unless you have an intent to catch her. Love is not a joke. Heartbreaks are real. Women are people with real feelings, and usually, sex is more emotionally involving for us, than it is for men. So if sex is all you want, don't make it seem like you like her or love her.

And my advice to WOMEN?

Don't fall for the lies. Learn to read through the lies. And when you do meet someone nice, genuine and someone who is really into you- still be cautious. Because you know what sleeping with that guy is going to do to your heart and mind!

And remember, the only reason why you should do it with someone, is because you want to. And it's completely possible and sane to want to do it with someone you have no emotional connect with. It's also fine to want to do it with someone who you feel for, even though they may not be in the same headspace as you. Just don't go out giving pity fucks. It's a choice you make, a conscious one, make sure you don't regret it.