Waking up late on a Monday morning and not having to show up
at work has its own set of perks; for instance, you can enjoy your coffee sip
by sip rather than gulping it down- and that, as all caffeine addicts know, is a divine feeling in itself.
After the usual shower, breakfast routine, I settled myself
comfily on the couch with Cosmo in my hands and men on my mind.
Flipping through the pages, I stumbled upon one of my
favourite sections- The Cosmo Quiz! In this particular issue, it was about
finding out if the guy you’re dating is ‘the one’. “Interesting”- I thought to
myself. With each question of the 5 question quiz, a different guy came to my
mind.
1 The sweet ex, who I’m still friends with.
2 The touchy-feely green-eyed guy I recently went
out on a couple of dates with.
3 That friend for whom my feelings come and go,
like waves by the shore.
4 My Mr. Right, who disappears on me for weeks at
a stretch.
5 And; the crazy yet charming tattoo artist I met
at a party last week.
Trying to scout for some answers from my own self, I started
to ponder- What if I had a choice to make? What if I was to choose one guy out
of these 5? At least for the sake of the quiz! Let me tell you how supremely
difficult a task that is. Because even though Guy 1 is sweet, he isn’t
seductive like Guy 2. Guy 2, while seductive, isn’t someone I have a magical
connection and a great rapport with, like I have with Guy 3. But Guy 3 is not
someone I imagine myself spending a lifetime with. That I can only imagine with
Guy 4; who is probably not as interested in me as Guy 5 is. Then again, Guy 5
is not really that sweet to me.
Bummer!
It’s a circle I think; one that I’m definitely trapped in.
In all honesty, I don’t see either of these guys being “the one”. But then,
with all these guys to occupy my mind, and my time- I haven’t even given the
probable right guy the deserved chance. Whenever someone asks me out or I see
someone potential out there; I somehow manage to come up with excuses like-
“I’m not looking to date.” Or “I’m sorry, I don’t do this.” Or my perennial
favourite “I just got out of a bad relationship, and I just need to focus on
myself!” All these excuses could honestly be hash-tagged: #shitsinglepeoplesay
The truth is, I live in some sort of strange bubble where
there’s a lot of hope. I think to myself on certain days that maybe Mr. Right
would finally realize we’re meant to be and ask me out. On other days, I find
myself going back to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai days, and think of how perfect a couple
would me and the BFF make, if I could sustain my feelings for him and of course
vice versa. And then; the charm of the tattoo artist allures me, but then I
realise that things can only be steamy with the green eyed guy! I honestly
never give a thought to getting back with my seemingly sweet ex, because that
chapter’s closed; but the point remains the same.
And the point is- I’m not dating anyone, I’m not in love
with someone, and I’m not even pining over someone; but my relationship status
is still- “It’s complicated”. Strange, isn’t it? But relatable too, right?
When the world all across talks about Polyamory; us girls
here are still trying to move on from the self-inflicted “It’s complicated”
status. I wonder why we tag ourselves to that. I wonder if it has to do with
the deeply instilled fear of commitment in us millennials. I wonder if it’s
just a part of our nature to keep options open, until we absolutely have to
make a choice. And when do we make that choice, really? When we finally have to
give in to society’s pressure and opt for arranged marriages and succumb to the
shackles of domestication, then? Maybe. But maybe not.
Give it a thought. A meaningful monogamous relationship is
waiting for you out there- you just have to get rid of the “It’s complicated”
tag, just like I have to. Polyamory is for another day maybe. Right now- get
out that sexy dress, go on that date with the guy that wants to take out, have
a good time. Who knows you might find “the one” on your next date? And give
those 5 guys who’ve been running on your mind- a break! Trust me they’ve gotten
tired of running, and you should move on too. Be Single, not complicated.
You’re a girl, not a math problem.
